Tag Archives: Kathryn Kuhlman

It had to be you

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When I was twenty-one I took a three-month trip, and when I came home I was surprised by a couple of things:  First, how much the children in our church had grown, and second that life went on without me when I was gone and I wasn’t really missed.  I have been thinking a lot about my life lately (especially how quickly it’s passing by), knowing that God is really up to something all around the world, and wondering if He would use me in His plans.  This morning I was contemplating my trip to California next week.  I am going to attend a women’s conference because when I read about it I got excited and felt a “Go!”  It spoke about the mantles of some of my heroes of the faith (Maria Woodworth-Etter, Aimee Semple-McPherson, and Kathryn Kuhlman to name a few).

I’ve always had this dream to be like them, especially Kathryn Kuhlman, who walked so closely with Holy Spirit.  Whether I ever “did the stuff” or whatever that may look like was not something I thought much about because what matters to me is closeness to Him.  When you are in love you will do whatever He asks.  I’ve had a yearning to know Him, to hear His voice, and have been chasing Him for years (even though He is always with me, lol).  Jesus’ words from almost six years ago, “I will come to you” still ring in my ears, one of the handful of times I’ve heard His voice so clearly that I felt as if He was right beside me.

I’m on Doug Addison’s daily prophetic word email list.  Yesterday’s was to ask God to confirm things that you have been asking for.  I have been asking to see.  I want to see in the spirit, so all day I was asking for confirmation.  I didn’t see anything through the day but hoped for a dream when I went to bed.  Well, if I dreamed I don’t remember, but I wasn’t discouraged or disappointed.  Perhaps my trust is coming into a maturity, but I am learning to rest and not strive.  He is at work in me, and that is what matters.  That said, as I was eating my breakfast I was contemplating the conference next week and wondering what God has for me there.  I know it is going to be an adventure.  I thought about my life and found myself questioning (again, because I do it often) what my destiny is, whether I was just dreaming or if those prophetic words really were true.  Had He really chosen me to walk in signs and wonders?  Right then a song began to play.

I knew the tune and the title but not the rest of the words, so I Googled it and listened as Harry Connick Jr. sang a song that went straight to my heart.  Holy Spirit spoke as He often does through music.  Oh, how I love Him!  By the way, today’s word is:  New strength, healing and wholeness is going to start flowing like a river.  I receive that!

More Than a Feeling

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I am finally getting a few minutes to write about last weekend and I sit here and don’t even know where to start!  I’ve been to more than twenty Global conferences, but this one was different.  Was it because I was in a better place, more able to receive?  Or perhaps the experience over Christmas gave me a fresh set of ears?  There were so many “God moments”:  a word from David Wagner and one from a student (“I hear God saying He’s going to bless your socks off”), the way the Pray-As-You-Go devotionals dovetailed with what was happening each day, God touching my back Friday night–which had become quite sore from all the sitting–when Will Hart called out a word of knowledge for it during worship.  One that had a big impact was actually a gentle rebuke, and I think I’ve gotten the message now, Lord, lol.  It was Saturday night during worship and I was singing and said in my heart, “God, I just want to feel Your presence!  I just want to feel Your presence!”  I didn’t add “like other people do,” but He knew it.  So after worship David Wagner gets up and starts prophesying again and says, “And God wants you to know I AM MORE THAN A FEELING!”

I am making peace with me and the way God has made me.  He knows my heart, my desires, and–I believe this is key–what I can and cannot handle.  I think I could handle it, but the truth is I don’t know.  In any event, He knows best and I trust Him more and more each day.  I saw a quote by Kathryn Kuhlman today, “The greatest human attainment in all the world is for a life to be so surrendered to Him that the name of Almighty God will be glorified through that life.”  Help me, Jesus.  I need your help even in surrendering!