Monthly Archives: May 2017

When you can’t trust your parents

Standard

It’s such a strange, uncharted road I’m on right now, full of twists and turns and surprises.  Today’s was more like a sinkhole right in the middle of the road.  That it’s not bothering me (more, I should say, because I suppose it is a little or I wouldn’t be writing about it), shows me far I have come the last year, which is a testament to His grace.

It was just over a year ago that my father had a stroke in the cognitive part of his brain.  The following months were a roller-coaster of drama and emotion as his wife filed for divorce and my brothers and I tried to find a way to take care of him.  His brain healed to a certain extent, but he’s not completely with it cognitively at times (and knows it) and his memory has been affected.  When he gets stressed, his eye twitches.  It was twitching tonight.

I had to confront him about something he was hiding from me.  As with most secret things, in order to protect them you often have to lie, and one lie leads to another and another.  Apparently there had been some sort of “agreement” made between he and his soon-to-be ex and dad was being set up to be taken advantage of big time.  There would be no agreement if there was no communication (and there’s not supposed to be any).  A quick check on the history in his phone (he didn’t even realize what I was doing) provided the evidence.  He says she called him; she says he called her.  Only God knows, because the history only goes back three weeks.  In the end he was busted and knew it, and on the way back to his place he asked if I was disappointed in him.  I sighed.

I can’t take this personally.  In some ways he just is not able to think clearly and can’t process what everyone else can see plain as day.  Kevin made the comment that somebody was going to have to take him by the hand and lead him through this (i.e., the divorce) the whole way.  I guess that somebody is me.  I had to be firm with him this past Sunday, too, and it felt awkward, but I’m getting used to it.  There’s plenty of talk about how difficult it is to be the parents of teenagers, but when your “teenager” is your parent, life can get very interesting.  I am seeking to know how best to honor my father and in doing so honor my Father in heaven.

Dreams etc.

Standard

I’m back in a dream season again and the good news is I’m remembering more of them.  The bad news is some are corrective.  Wait, that’s good news too, because God loves me enough to talk to me about my “stuff.”  Thankfully, after I dealt with that I had subsequent encouraging dreams.  One was interesting in that there was a big military jet that was hovering in the sky like a helicopter (if that doesn’t scream “supernatural” then nothing does!).  I remember thinking that it shouldn’t be able to do that, lol.  People were in lines waiting to get onto buses and planes and trains.  I sensed it was a mustering of troops and they were being shipped out to the harvest fields!  I joined a line and looked down and started finding jewelry.  I think I found two necklaces with hearts on them and one had a diamond in the back.  Someone asked how I would find the owners and I said I would advertise but not give all the information and the owner would have to give the missing part.  I also found a gemstone in the grass.  After that I had a dream that I was building a nest and was very happy when I realized it was a eagle’s nest :)

This morning I dreamed I saw an old friend (actually a second cousin).  Her nickname is “Pickle” (although she spells it “Pickel”).  Anyway she told me she may be getting separated/divorced and wanted to give me her address.  I didn’t have anything to write it down on so she gave me her phone number (which doesn’t make sense, lol).  Anyway the phone number was 746 “for school” (or 4 SCHOOL…472-4665).  Then I woke up.  I wrote the number down quick and later Googled it.  Turns out it was a number in Mexico!  After enough time had passed (because they are three or four hours behind!) I called and got a recording that the number was no longer in service.  I thought maybe I’d talk to someone who was “in a pickle” and needed to hear that God saw what was going on.  In case I missed that I also dialed the number in my area code and got the same recording.  Then I decided to look up 7:46 and 74:6, which didn’t really turn up much.  Lastly, I punched in 7:4-6 and got this:

So, my brothers and sisters, you also died to the law through the body of Christ, that you might belong to another, to him who was raised from the dead, in order that we might bear fruit for God. For when we were in the realm of the flesh, the sinful passions aroused by the law were at work in us, so that we bore fruit for death.  But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code.

That’s a good word :)  I have been meditating on dying to self a lot lately, so perhaps this is the Spirit’s “new way” of telling me I’m ready “4 SCHOOL” and this will be the subject.  I’m not sure, but in any event, He’s definitely got my attention!

In other news, yesterday my younger brother and I went down to dad’s old place and packed up his things in the garage (lots of tools and equipment) and downstairs.  All of what was there was supposed to come back.  Today when we took the truck to pick them up some things were missing.  We didn’t make a big deal out of it (though dad wasn’t too pleased).  Perhaps she didn’t think we would notice.  There has been a lot of finger pointing lately and it’s hard to know who is telling the truth (let alone the fact that I’m not interesting in being the judge).  I’m just trying to help dad start over and forgive, with an emphasis on the latter because without it the former will be sabotaged.  Oh how we need Jesus!

Back from CA

Standard

It was a whirlwind trip!  And just like that it’s over and I’m back home.  It’ll take a few days to catch up and wind down (at least I hope I can–life doesn’t seem to be slowing down at all!).  We flew to LA on the 25th.  The next morning as I was waking up I thought I heard Ezekiel 3:5-9 so I looked it up: “You are not being sent to a people of obscure speech and strange language, but to the people of Israel—not to many peoples of obscure speech and strange language, whose words you cannot understand. Surely if I had sent you to them, they would have listened to you.  But the people of Israel are not willing to listen to you because they are not willing to listen to me, for all the Israelites are hardened and obstinate.  But I will make you as unyielding and hardened as they are.  I will make your forehead like the hardest stone, harder than flint. Do not be afraid of them or terrified by them, though they are a rebellious people.”  That made for an interesting way to start things off!

We had a day of visiting relatives and then were off to Lancaster.  I believe the videos from that conference will be up soon (Shekinah Worship Center), and I would encourage anyone with questions about the role of women in these end times to watch the whole conference.  It was called the Midean Women conference because the Lord had been speaking to Brother Sadhu about that very thing.  Basically what it boils down to is a three-fold anointing, that of MIrian, DEborah, and ANna–prophetic worship, prophetic warfare, and prophetic intercession–that is being released on women in fulfillment of Psalm 68:11.  The teaching was encouraging and empowering, and the worship was off the charts.  The second day I sat down beside a woman and discovered she was from Mechanicsburg!  She had just been pondering whether God had any divine connections for her there (yay God!).  I am looking forward to getting together with her soon.

Other speakers included Lou Engle (who had received a similar word from the Lord) and Jennifer LeClaire, Senior Editor at Charisma Magazine.  It was the first time I’d ever heard Jennifer speak and wow is she a powerhouse!  She encouraged us all to dream wild.  On Saturday night Sadhu taught and then prayed for and anointed all the women with oil.  It got wild (as it usually does) and some people had powerful encounters.  I know because they talked about them the next day at church.  Instead of the usual service, time was given to share testimonies and there were many who spoke.  After about a dozen women got up and shared the powerful visions and encounters they had I stood up.  Basically I said that I didn’t have any of that–no visions or words from God, no encounters, and I didn’t feel anything–but that I believe I received.  One way I knew was because at prayer meeting we had a time of prayer for the nation and I interceded like I never had before.  The pastor (Joe Sweet) spoke into that and I wish I’d have written down the name, but there was a somebody who was told by God to “tell My people to learn to receive without feeling anything” (or something like that).  Anyway, I had a number of women come up to me afterward and thank me for saying that because it had been their experience too.

We went back to LA and took the drive through the mountains, which was beautiful.  We have been to California a number of times but never in the spring, and it was lush and green from all the recent rains.  Over the next two days we got together with some of the extended family and at one point I shared with a couple relatives what Brother Sadhu had mentioned at the conference, i.e., that he recently saw a huge angel with a sledgehammer in his hand in LA.  An earthquake is coming, and it is going to be catastrophic.  My prayer for my relatives (and I told them this, because they’re not planning on moving) is that God will send His angels and wake them up so they can get to high ground.  My first and only visions (thus far anyway), came at the end of my first forty-day fast back in 2011 and the second one had to do with an earthquake in LA.  I was shown how far the ocean came in.  Whether that was from a tsunami or the land sinking, I don’t know, but it looked as if it covered most of the city.  Sadhu also spoke about three other ones in the US, one in the middle of the country (probably the New Madrid one) and one on the East Coast (not sure where the other one was).  He told us to pray for our President, that he would be able to serve his full term.  We know there are plenty of witches and others cursing him, and evidently the “time of grace” that we are experiencing as a nation is tied directly to his term.  If only more Christians knew that, perhaps they would pray more fervently.  I’m not saying that to be judgmental, because I need to pray more myself.  I definitely feel as if “something” is coming though.   Kind of fitting that today is the National Day of Prayer.

Anyway we got home yesterday morning at around 8:30 and were in bed by 9, sleeping kind of fitfully until around 2.  Then we attacked the jungle that was our yard and I did some gardening.  Probably a good thing we did because it is to rain the next couple of days.  I need to go see dad today and take him to the store, etc.  I am hoping for a rental space to open up so he can have a shop.  It would be good for him to have something to do.  Right now, I think I shall try to go back to sleep.  Still trying to adjust my sleep schedule.  Perhaps I’ll have a dream :)