I am up early again today. I like this time of morning and gladly embrace it when I actually wake up refreshed at 4 a.m. It’s my “Come Away Time” and I desperately need that because I have been so busy lately. I’ve been reading a little book called “Surrender to Love” by David Benner. If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend it. Surrender is the key to living the Christian life through rest, something I am slowly learning. It was almost a year ago I had the episode with back pain that gave me my first taste of what true rest/surrender looked and felt like. I’d like to have that back again (minus the pain, lol). Little by little He is getting me where I need to be, and I trust in His goodness and love. I’m “learning to float” spiritually, which is good because I am tired of treading water :)
The holidays are just about upon us, and as if I wasn’t busy enough I’ve signed up to be a Rodan and Fields distributor (under my friend Mary). It took some convincing, and I still wonder if I did the right thing because it’s not as if I wasn’t busy enough, lol. I’m excited, though, to be building my own little business, my “work with eager hands” as it were (Proverbs 31) and (trusting the Lord to bless it) be able to have my own source of income to invest into travel and blessing others. It helps that I like the products. I’m not a salesperson, though, and have always resented when people want me to like pages and push their “stuff” on Facebook. I realize that can be a great way to get the word out and grow my business but I don’t want to assume on friendships or weary people with information. If you know anyone with rosacea or acne, their products for those are the best (it’s like having your own personal dermatologist). They have regimens for anti-aging and dealing with wrinkles, too, something I seem to have plenty of lately (it’s that change-of-life thing), but I kind of feel about them the way I do about my gray hair, which I refuse to color. I would like to get the word out to younger women, though, to stay out of the sun and use sunscreen. You’ll be glad you did later :) Anyway, my website is pattimccarty.myrandf.com if you’d like to check it out and/or need their products. And that’s all I’ll ever say about that on here (other than to maybe let you know how it’s going from time to time).
I will go see dad on Tuesday. He’s been on my heart a lot the past couple of days. My older brother took him to the eye doctor and he needs cataract surgery in both eyes. They were so bad the doctor said it’s a wonder he could see at all. He was driving, mind you, up until a month ago. God spared him many times, I’m sure. I did take him the skillet and a crock pot so now he is able to do some of his own cooking, which is good because the weather became more like winter yesterday. I don’t think he’ll be getting out as much. The first thing I plan on doing when I visit him is checking his meds. He said something the last time I was there which made me wonder whether he’s taking more than he needs to of certain types. That could be adding to his confusion.
Thanksgiving is four days away. We’ve been invited to my son’s and also to my mom’s. Part of me is concerned with dad, the fact that he would be by himself, and I’m still praying about what to do. Perhaps we will drive there and take him out to eat, but I will have just been there two days before and that would be a lot of driving. I know that I am not responsible for anyone’s happiness and don’t have peace about bringing him here yet. I may end up doing that when he has those surgeries, but for now I need to follow Holy Spirit’s leading, and He often does that through the peace He gives (or doesn’t give), kind of like an umpire in a baseball game letting me know whether something is “out” or “safe.”
Time to post this and get back to resting. Someday I’ll have to post a pic of the little space I’ve made in the basement, complete with the fake fireplace that looks and sounds surprisingly real (but lacks heat). It is a substitute for an actual fire because I can’t have one down here. I’m not sure I’d like to because tending a fire takes a lot of work and can make a mess. Today is Sunday so I’ll be going to church. In a way, many churches are content with their “fake fireplaces” too, because having the real thing can be messy. Here’s praying the Holy Spirit comes anyway and sets a fire down in our soul that we can’t contain and we can’t control. There is no surrendering if we want to remain in control or decide what something looks like. Help me, Jesus!