Just when I thought this summer couldn’t get any crazier, I talk to my stepmother today and she informs me she asked dad to move back up here. I visited him this week and knew something was up. At one point she asked him to leave so we could talk and she shared some things. The thing is I don’t know what or who to believe and I am not the judge or arbiter. They both have brain injuries, and I’m not saying that sarcastically. She suffers from seizures and has memory and other issues associated with that. And now dad has cognitive impairment and memory issues from his stroke. They make quite the pair. I had hoped for the best, but things are going downhill fast. I’ve been saying, “It’s not my problem,” but that’s only partly true. It’s not my problem until it is.
All of this makes me run to Jesus more, and I have been thanking Him for this trial. I don’t have to understand why it’s happening, figure it out, try and “fix” it, I just need to listen to what He is telling me to do. Sometimes, though, it comes in the form of “he has nowhere else to go.” I was just starting to “get my life back” and am ready to lay it down again. Somehow all of this will work out. Somehow. God’s already there in the future, and I just need to keep trusting.
But my heart is heavy and I am so sad for my dad. He has no one, really, who looks after him but me and my two brothers, and they both have busy lives. Somehow it falls to me (as it often does, falling on daughters to be caregivers). Just this week we got rid of the last of the things from his apartment. I see the sign is still out though, so it may be available. ~Sigh~ Jesus, help.
You’d think this would be easier the second time around. I hope I am trusting Him more this time. I am praying for wisdom and would appreciate prayers for the same. “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask” the Bible says, and I sure need it.