“Ye have not because…”

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I’m writing from Moravian Falls again, but before I touch on that I thought I’d bring you up to speed on what’s been happening, starting with our vacation.  The week in Montana was great.  God provided plenty of snow and very cold conditions and it will be hard to top the overall amazingness of our time there with our Alaskan skiing buddies.  Looking back, though, what I will remember most was another painful lesson that came the third day of the trip.  We may go on vacation, but God is always at work.

It was Tuesday morning and we’d had snow with more in the forecast.  I was still working on being a confident skier (when you ski as infrequently as I do, it takes a few days to build that up).  Kevin checked the grooming report on his phone and we headed over to Shedhorn where, according to the report, all the runs were beckoning with fresh corduroy.  We were looking forward to making some of the first tracks.  Riding up the lift Kevin prayed, as he always does, and asked the Lord for protection and to give us the grace to accept whatever conditions we found.  The funny thing about grace is that one can resist it.  Anyway, I started to have misgivings when one of the trails on the way over to that side of the mountain seemed to have been untouched.  As I’d not been there before I was unfamiliar with the next lift, so I didn’t realize there were two ways to get to the lift itself.  I chose to go left, the other three went right.  As I huffed and puffed and herringboned up the hill (and it was a steep one) I started to grumble in my spirit, something like,  “It would have been nice to know which way to go before I made my turn.”  That’s when I heard, quite clearly and in a matter-of-fact tone, “You didn’t ask.”  Ouch.

What I should have done is repented, but my response was more like, “Duh!”  And for some reason I internalized it and started beating myself up.  I finally made it to the top to join the others in line to get on the lift.  Being one of the older ones, it just about knocked me over when it scooped us up, giving me quite a jolt and throwing my head back.  Halfway up I realize my goggles had fallen off so that upset me and the grumbling intensified.  At the top the folks behind us had them (the lift operator sent them up with them), which was good, because by now it’s snowing like crazy.  And no, the trail was not groomed and was quite deep.  Add to that the fact that there’d been a bit of an avalanche across part of it and we weren’t sure where we were supposed to go.  By now I’m quite upset because a) I do not have powder skis and b) I did not want to ski ungroomed trails.  Even typing this I can hear the “Wahhhh!” in my voice, lol.  So Kevin starts out across this big bowl and I yell that I’ll follow him but he can’t hear me and is going much faster and I can’t see where I’m going, can’t turn because the snow was “sticky”, and am struggling to get to the bottom.  My legs were literally shaking by the time we stopped.

It took a while to get back to the base area.  We had to ride that lift a couple more times and then took “Duck Walk” back, which is very narrow with a very steep drop off to the right.  Needless to say, by the time we were able to take a break I was exhausted.  At this point I was already well into the thirty-nine lashes I so frequently inflict upon myself and decided to call it a day because my attitude had pretty much tanked and I didn’t want to hold the others back (they’re better skiers).  On the way back to the condo I stopped by the office because I had a hunch.  I asked them to check their website and see if the grooming report was updated.  Turns out it hadn’t been for two days, a big no-no and probably a rare occurrence (oh the things God will do to teach us a lesson!).  A phone call was made and it was updated pronto, with apologies for the inconvenience.  Kevin was very relieved it was their mistake and not his.

I have been thinking a lot about how much I run on autopilot and don’t ask.  I remember a friend telling me once that when she goes into a public bathroom she asks Holy Spirit which stall to use!  I used to think that a bit much until I went into one at the airport on the way home.  Let’s just say I knew I’d chosen the wrong one when I stood up and just leave it at that, lol.

I’d like to think I am checking in more, but it is a habit one must cultivate.  And I am in no way implying that we must always ask about every little thing, though I am certain that God is interested in our being faithful in said “little things.”  I need to get back to practicing His presence and realize that the busyness of my life tends to push me to act without asking.  That’s no excuse, though.  I need to check in more.  Period.

Anyway it’s still quite early and I’ve been up for hours.  I came down to help Mary get ready for a conference she’s hosting (the first of many “Come Away” weekends).  It’s been a lot of work, much of which will go unnoticed, but I know that He sees and He is the one I’m doing it for.  This morning I awoke at “‘I am the Lord’s servant,’ Mary answered. ‘May your word to me be fulfilled.’ Then the angel left her,” and again at, “The one who comes from above is above all; the one who is from the earth belongs to the earth, and speaks as one from the earth. The one who comes from heaven is above all.”  For those who haven’t been following this blog for long that would be 1:38 and 3:31 (Googled, of course).  I finally got out of bed and looked again and it was 4:44.  Yep, it’s gonna be a good day.  Though I may need to take a nap at some point, lol.

 

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