Nothing’s Gonna Change My World

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Today is my 57th birthday, so happy birthday to me :)  It’s also day 26 of my slow, lol.  Other than a day or two I’ve had no major issues, and I am thankful for that.  I am happy to be fasting again and believe if more people understood the benefits they would do it as well.  When you’re called to one there’s a grace for it, so timing is important.  I felt as if this one was to be a fast of repentance as it leads up to Yom Kippur, and it has been that, with God putting His finger on things and stirring up my heart.  It’s all part of the process, and I welcome it even though at times it’s uncomfortable.  But that’s why we have a Comforter :)

Anyway yesterday was a bit of a struggle.  Despite what I just said about fasting I was questioning why I was doing it and would it really make a difference anyway (obviously I was hungry, lol).  Sometimes I think I fast because I don’t know what else to do to get breakthrough, which I suppose can be as good a reason as any.  When Kevin and I went to bed I was asking him questions about his encounters with Jesus and we talked about that.  He’s always walked with the Holy Spirit and even as a child never feared death.  I shared how lonely I was as a child.  I loved Sunday School and hearing stories about God (even though they made me afraid of Him in a way) and remember kneeling down by my bed and saying my prayers often, even if they were the “Now I lay me down to sleep” kind.  I thought about my friend Mary who at a young age was baptized in the Spirit and walks closely with Him.  All this, naturally, led to me feeling sorry for myself and I guess kind of a little bit mad at God because I was asking questions like, “Why didn’t He come to me?!”  I don’t want to live in the past, but that’s a question that won’t go away as I press in to know Him.  When you’ve been through a supernatural ministry school you’ve seen people having all sorts of life-changing encounters and that can mess with one’s mind in the what-am-I-chopped-liver way.

That said, I remember a counselor I had once telling me that He doesn’t come because you’re not ready, that in His mercy He withholds because it could really mess me up!  Personally I’d like to be “messed with” but I heard what he was saying.  I remember Mary telling me as well that she heard Holy Spirit tell her (when she asked why I couldn’t experience what she was) that I couldn’t, that my receptors were broken.  She said Paul Young (author of The Shack) has a teaching on that where he talks about the fact that children who grow up in lack/deficiencies have had their receptors smashed.  I can relate to that and sense even a “flatness” in my emotions and soul.  She said I need to be praying that God would fix/heal my receptors, so I’m going to do that.  But I’m getting ahead of myself because that last conversation came after I shared the song that came into my head this morning.

As I laid on my bed drifting in and out of sleep, the chorus from Lennon’s “Across the Universe” played, “Nothing’s gonna change my world, nothing’s gonna change my world.”  That’s interesting, I thought as I reached for my phone and Googled it.  I never really knew the words, but they’re very poetic, and the song has an interesting history.  Anyway the words spoke to me, but before anyone freaks and adds a bunch of buts because of the Sanskrit “Jai guru deva, om”, Wikipedia tells me it “approximates” as “glory to the shining remover of darkness” and can be paraphrased as “victory to God divine”!  Here are the lyrics:

Words are flowing out like
Endless rain into a paper cup
They slither while they pass they slip away across the universe.
Pools of sorrow waves of joy
Are drifting through my opened mind
Possessing and caressing me.

Jai Guru Deva. Om
Nothing’s gonna change my world
Nothing’s gonna change my world
Nothing’s gonna change my world
Nothing’s gonna change my world

Images of broken light, which
Dance before me like a million eyes,
They call me on and on across the universe.
Thoughts meander like a
Restless wind inside a letter box
They tumble blindly as they make their way across the universe.
(Chorus)
Sounds of laughter, shades of life
Are ringing through my opened ears
Inciting and inviting me.
Limitless undying love, which
Shines around me like a million suns,
It calls me on and on across the universe
(Chorus)

Nothing’s gonna change His world, and I want that open mind, open eyes, and open ears to see/experience that world.  Many in the Bible have, and I know quite a few people here on earth that had and still have encounters with the God of heaven and earth, life-changing encounters with the King of Glory.  I shared all this with Mary this morning and what she heard for me was the verse, “Choose ye this day whom you will serve” and that I was to be fully present in today, not borrowing from the past or thinking about tomorrow.  So Happy Birthday to me!  May today truly be one that takes me from glory to glory, because I choose to serve Him!

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