It’s been an interesting week so far (and it’s only Tuesday). I guess it started over this weekend, this particular funk I got into, related no doubt to getting offended at God. As ridiculous as that sounds, yes we can do that, and in my case I think it began because Kevin had two encounters Saturday night. While I’m tossing and turning, Jesus is touching his forehead and later He put his hand on his chest over his heart and sent him reeling. Though I rejoiced and continue to rejoice for him, that little snippety rebel started in with the “what am I, chopped liver” thing, especially the one related to the heart (I still am contending for healing for my heart, both physical and emotional). No, it wasn’t that obvious (I didn’t actually say that–I think), but in hindsight all I can do is shake my head in disbelief to realize I went ’round that mountain yet again. I am thankful He is patient and good and kind and that He’s not the great Whack-a-Mole God I used to think He was. It is His kindness that leads us to repentance, and He’s been more than kind with me. I have repented and been restored.
As often happens, God will use something or things in a daily reading or lesson I’m working through to address the issue and get me back on track. Today it was from a little book a friend gave to Kevin on Sunday that I picked up and started to read. It’s “A retreat with Brother Lawrence and the Russian Pilgrim: Praying Ceaselessly.” Today’s reading talked about inner restlessness and there was much I could relate to. But what jumped out at me was a paragraph about “aletheia”, the Greek word for truth. It’s the word John uses when describing Jesus as the way, the “truth” and the life. “Aletheia has several meanings, but one of the most insightful is ‘unforgetting.’ We are in the truth when we recall or unforget what we once knew but have allowed to slip out of our awareness.” I spent some time “unforgetting” the many ways He has “touched” me over the past three to four years. At the end of the chapter it said to reread the passage where Jesus met the woman at the well.
Later in the afternoon I watched the next lesson in JPJackson’s “Understanding Dreams and Visions” online course I’m doing with some ladies. I love this course, and was intrigued to see this unit was about color. He began by talking about the rainbow and the seven spirits of God. I unforgot the time I went for a sozo session and “saw” God placing prisms in my eyes. I also unforgot the time He said, “Taste the rainbow!” from, yes, the Skittles commercial during class at Global a couple years ago. Anyway, I was blown away by what I learned today. The whole class was worth it for just this lesson! Did you know that each color has a vibration and a note in heaven? How about the fact that there are three spectrums of light? It’s interesting that I’ve been reading “Quantum Glory” (okay, it’s taking me months, but it is quantum physics, after all), and today he talked about particle physics and touched on some of the same things I’ve been reading. At the end of the lesson he had students read from several passages (Ephesians 3:10, Hebrews 2:4, and 1 Peter 4:10) and said the same Greek word was used (translated as “manifold, various, or many-sided”) but means “multi-colored.” The same is the case in Matt. 2:24, Mark 1:24 and Luke 4:40 where they brought many people to Jesus with “multi-colored” diseases and “multi-colored” torments. James 1:2 and 1 Peter 1:6 speak of “multi-colored” trials, and 2 Tim. 3:6 and Titus 3:30 address “multi-colored” lusts/pleasures. So what does that have to do with anything? There is such a thing as “dark light.” Jesus even addressed it in Matthew 6:23. Anyway, I’m getting sidetracked.
Suffice it to say that through today’s reading/teaching I “saw” a picture of what was going on and what happens when I allow my mind, will, or emotions to rule. God is light, and in Him is no darkness at all. His light is in me, and I have the choice to be ruled by spirit, soul, or flesh. Yesterday I let my emotions take me down the wrong path. It’s a path I’ve been on before. It goes in a big circle around a very large mountain. My time would be better spent climbing up that mountain than marching around it, and practicing aletheia can help me do that. One more thing: in the video course, he also spoke about the woman at the well and Jesus’ words that He desires those who will worship Him in spirit and in truth. God knows that’s what I want, to worship Him with my whole heart. It sounds like an active thing, but I keep getting “yield” and feel my grip on the steering wheel loosening. It’s taken long enough, huh? :)