This morning Kevin got up very early to go skiing with some friends. I’m glad he’s getting this break, and they should have a beautiful day on the slopes. When he came back into the bedroom to turn out the light he joked that I’d better “turn my magnets off” lol. I laughed and assured him. He sat down beside me, ran his hand up and down my upper arm and told me that he just can’t get enough of me. “That is as it should be,” I responded, and he agreed as he leaned over and gave me a kiss goodbye. To be married for 30+ years and be more in love than ever is a blessing beyond words, and the longer I walk this earth the more I realize what a rarity that is. As he got up to leave, I asked him to turn the music back on (we almost always fall asleep to an instrumental worship CD).
As the music started to play and his truck pulled away a few minutes later my ongoing conversation with God picked back up with my thanking Him (which I do daily) for telling Kevin all those years ago, “She’s the one I want you to take care of.” He’s done that and more. Then my thoughts shifted to my life and the hidden purposes for many of the things that have happened. Recently I’ve been seeing God take what I consider weaknesses and turning them into strengths. Holy Spirit loves to “flip” things and turn them on their head, and truly when we are weak He is strong. I found myself wondering about many things, questioning (but yet not) the common thread in my deepest friendships and what purpose could there be in the isolation I sometimes feel. Interwoven in my thoughts was thanksgiving for God’s faithfulness and intentionality, His never-ending love and pursuit of our whole heart, and the fact that He can’t get enough of us, too. I remember telling Him that I want love to Him like He loves me and asking Him (yet again) to teach me how to love. I went into worship, drifting in and out of slumber before I rolled over and finally fell asleep.
I was awakened by an awareness of someone coming into the room (though the door never opened), sitting beside me, and the pressure of a hand running up and down my arm. Coming to, I wondered why Kevin had come back and whether he’d forgotten something or if it was those darned magnets again, lol. I opened my eyes to a still-dark room and no one was there and I realized, “It’s Jesus!” Almost immediately a wind came into the room and I knew Who that was and I wasn’t afraid and welcomed Him. Not once, but twice the wind came. I can’t say I physically felt it, though I did hear it (it was quite loud) and breathed deeply. I’d like to tell you I broke out in tongues or something (I didn’t), but it did seem as if it was pouring into me. I had the impression I was to look at the title of the song that was playing at the time (there’s that intentionality thing again), so I made a note to check it out when I got up.
A couple of nights ago Kevin had a sleepless night. When I asked him in the morning how he’d slept his response was, “I preached four sermons last night.” It seems he’d hung out with Holy Spirit all night! This happened once before and yes, I slept through that night, too. Anyway one of those sermons had a good illustration of how many Christians run on alkaline batteries which will eventually lose power. Instead, we need to be more like NiCad rechargeables and go to Holy Spirit often for a recharge. I think that’s what happened to me this morning. Now I want it every morning or whenever my I sense my “batteries” get drained. I want to stay at full charge, “ever ready” to be a conduit of His love, grace, and power.
Oh, and the title of that song (from Steve Swanson’s “Refresh” CD) is, appropriately, “Refill.”