Today I went to Global to sit in on a day of testimonies from first-year students who recently returned from their Baltimore and Brazil trips. I went early so I could be there for worship. It’s been a few weeks since I’ve had the opportunity to worship corporately like that, and it was incredible. I wanted to blog about it because I’m sure it’ll be a blur in a few days. In fact, already some of it is starting to fade, so I’m recording it so I can read it and be encouraged in the future.
As worship began, I kicked off my shoes because I felt as if I was on holy ground. Ben Williams had shared a testimony of his and Micah’s time in North Carolina, bringing revival to a church, and some of the ways you can tell when God is doing more than just “a great service.” He also talked about prayer and ended by praying for us and worship just opened right up. But somewhere during his prayer for us Keith Green’s song “Make My Life a Prayer to You” began to play in my head so I sang the words, and when I got to “no compromise” I parked there. I’ve been talking to God about prayer lately, and just to show me that He was listening throughout the day (beginning in worship actually) He started answering some things I had been asking, actually more like pondering (most of it). I wasn’t standing long before I was on my knees going back and forth between worshiping and praying, with lots of tears flowing (I knew there was a reason I didn’t wear mascara!).
I felt a pair of hands on my shoulders and recognized the one praying for me as Ben (his prayers are powerful). Twice that happened actually, as a second-year student stopped and prayed for me as well, and I felt her hands start trembling when she began to pray in tongues. I just keep right on praying and singing. And crying. And singing. I sang about His holiness and pondered my own prayerlessness and powerlessness (and I’m sure there is a correlation between the two). I remember pondering how it seems that I’m waiting for something to happen and whether it needed to, why I couldn’t just do what I wanted to, take God at His word. I asked Him to break my heart for the things that break His and thought about how we are going from glory to glory. At one point I asked again for the baptism of fire because I want the dross burned away. I feel as if so much of my life is all about me, and I’m sure a few minutes in His presence would change that, lol. I specifically remember asking Him to brand me.
At the end of the worship time a second-year student prayed and spoke about how we are going from glory to glory. At the first break, a classmate of mine who was there visiting gave me a big hug and the first words out of his mouth were “You don’t need anything else!” Of course he said more, but that rocked me. As students gave testimonies Tom Holloway would often stop and lead into a time of impartation or ministry. At one point a student shared how God had broken her heart in Baltimore and Tom had her pray over us, that He would break our hearts for the things that break His. Later, he sensed an anointing for healing of hearing or tinnitus. I suffer from the latter, and a student came over and prayed for me. His hands got really hot and though I wasn’t healed, at one point I could hear him praying, “Brand her, God! Brand her, God!” Then when class was over Tom closed with prayer and talked about God’s holiness and His refining fire, that there was to be no compromise.
What if the only thing standing between me and the person God made me to be was lies? And what if I just take God at His word. What if instead of wondering whether I hear from God I just start declaring that I do, that He who called me is faithful and will bring it to pass, that the work He started He will bring to completion? What if I actually believe every promise God wrote? The world says seeing is believing. I say believing is seeing. Lord I believe! Time to shake off all that hinders and step into my destiny. It feels weird saying that, because I’m not sure what that’s going to look like, but I’m going for it.
782 words, that’s how many were at the end of the last paragraph when I saw the word count, and so I looked it up because I felt I was supposed to. The number 782 is “a sphenic number, nontotient, pentagonal number, Harshad number, also, 782 gear used by U.S. Marines.” I just learned a whole bunch of new facts, one of which is that the word “Harshad” comes from the Sanskrit harṣa (joy) + da (give), meaning joy-giver (that’s happy!). But the one that really caught my eye was the last. So do you think God’s telling me I have a battle ahead?! :) And I’m sure most of it will be IN my head.