I’m up against my old nemesis again tonight. So often when this happens it’s because I have an idea in my head of how I want something to go (and it doesn’t) and/or I’m really really looking forward to something and then for whatever reason it doesn’t go as planned, doesn’t happen at all, or I get left out. This time is more like the latter: the feeling of standing on a dock watching a cruise liner leave port that I was supposed to be on. And I realize that by typing that last statement I’ve identified the culprit: feelings.
I keep going back to the word my friend Mary got in Alaska a while back: “There is no room for disappointment in the kingdom of God.” Why is that? Partly, I think, because disappointment is “all about me.” Its definition gives the real issue away: “the feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one’s hopes or expectations.” In the kingdom it’s not about me, it’s about Him. I could avoid this much more easily if I’d just check with Him first on things, ask questions like, “Lord, what do you want me to do? What is your plan in this?” ~sigh~ slow learnersville.