I had one of those mornings. I keep my emotions pretty much corralled, so when one of them knocks the fence down and they all stampede into the open range it’s dangerous to post before they’re rounded up. But instead of going after them I climbed up on one of the rails and watched, studied them throughout the day. I see them as zebras, an image God gave me years before I understood that these pictures were from Him. Some were grazing, some were still running away, some were skipping about like foals in their new found freedom. As I sat there I realized how tired I was. Tired of trying to control them, keep them in check, dare I say keep them safe?
“Who can hope to be safe? who sufficiently cautious?
Guard himself as he may, every moment’s an ambush.” ~Horace
Zebras were never meant to be domesticated, they’re wild animals and there is beauty in their wildness. There’s something just wrong about seeing a zebra with a bridle and saddle, being ridden around a circus ring. I’m pondering what made me want to keep them penned up and am not liking what I’m hearing. It should come as no surprise that “fear” is the answer. Fear of what I ask? Good question, especially in light of the fact that I’ve been telling God lately, “I want to be fearless!”
I think some of it is fear of failure. Coming to the end of this three-year journey (and most assuredly the start of another) I find in some ways at least that I’m not as far along as I had hoped. But then I realize that how I came to that conclusion was mostly through comparison with others’ journeys, and that is never a good idea. (I’m done wishing I were someone else.) The fact remains that God promises that He who began a good work in me will bring it to completion (Phil. 1:6). His timeline is not the same as ours (that’s probably a very good thing), and He’s not in a hurry. I ignore the you-should-be-farther-along thoughts which lie (pun intended) like lions in the grass waiting to ambush an inattentive zebra. Did you know zebras can kill predators with one well-placed kick? :)
The only Lion I’m concerning myself with is the Lion of the Tribe of Judah. He’s the E.F. Hutton of the grassland–when He roars, people listen :) And He says, “Well done, daughter.” I’m learning to enter into His rest and my zebras are much happier now. Letting go sometimes looks like a broken fence. Think I’ll chop up that wood and make a bonfire.