Another week has passed, and though I know a lot happened only a couple things stand out in my memory (I really need to scribble some notes in a notebook!). One day in particular was unusual in that three second-year students gave me a word and another said she’d had a dream about me the night before (which she emailed the next day, and it was a GREAT dream). The interesting thing about that day was that I went into it focused on blessing others! So many times “you reap what you sow” has negative connotations, but the opposite is true as well. I need to do more sowing :)
Mickey Robinson came in and taught Thursday and Friday. I’d never heard of or met him before, but here’s a link to his website. He has an amazing testimony and is very prophetic. Friday at the end of the day he chose a few people to prophesy over, and I was one. And it was good :)
Over the weekend I got caught up on house stuff and in the process of cleaning found a book I’d read years back, A.W. Tozer’s “The Pursuit of God.” I’m reading it with fresh eyes. That’s not to say that I wasn’t pursuing God back then (I believe I read it soon after I became a Christian), but there was a lot I didn’t understand then and, unfortunately, much of the teaching I was sitting under pooh-poohed “experiences.” Presence was taught only in theory and failed to stress the Christian’s privilege of present realization. I was told that I was in the presence of God positionally and basically that was all I needed (and about as good as it got). As it says in the book, “…the present generation measures itself by this imperfect rule. Ignoble contentment takes the place of burning zeal. We are satisfied to rest in our judicial possessions and, for the most part, we bother ourselves very little about the absence of personal experience.” But I believe God Himself is waiting for His redeemed children to push in to conscious awareness of His presence.
“The world is perishing for lack of the knowledge of God and the Church is famishing for want of His presence. The instant cure of most of our religious ills would be to enter the Presence in spiritual experience, to become suddenly aware that we are in God and God is in us. This would lift us out of our pitiful narrowness and cause our hearts to be enlarged. This would burn away the impurities from our lives as the bugs and fungi were burned away by the fire that dwelt in the bush.”
I have some bugs and fungi that need to go. For a while I’ve felt as if there has been a veil between God and me and I’ve been doing my best to remove it. Then I read this…
“Let us beware of tinkering with our inner life, hoping ourselves to rend the veil. God must do everything for us. Our part is to yield and trust. We must confess, forsake, repudiate the self-life, and then reckon it crucified. But we must be careful to distinguish lazy ‘acceptance’ from the real work of God. We must insist upon the work being done. We dare not rest content with a neat doctrine of self-crucifixion. That is to imitate Saul and spare the best of the sheep and the oxen.”
I’ve spared some sheep and oxen, folks, but am done tinkering. I’m asking God to rend the veil and insist upon the work being done (I say that fully aware that He knows what He’s doing, and that includes timing in things). But I want to see Him face to face like Moses did. That was his intention from the start, but the people were too fearful at Sinai. Am I a little fearful? I’d be lying if I said no. But I know He is good, and I believe He wants this meeting even more than I do. And I want it pretty badly.