It’s been a while since I’ve written, so this is a long one, folks! Pour yourself a cup of tea or coffee and enjoy (I hope!). There’s been so much going on and free time has become a rare commodity. The first full week of school was last week. That Monday I had what I like to call an Alexander day (you know, a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day). Honestly I’d not had one like that in a long time, and I went to bed feeling rather defeated.
Tuesday was the first day for “Tracks” for 2nd year students. I’d chosen the prophetic track because I do greatly desire to prophesy. Dr. Melodye Hilton is the teacher and we meet on Tuesday of every week. She taught on shame, and I realized that that is the root of the fear in my life. Here I’ve been going after fear and wondering why it never seemed to go away. It’s kind of like treating a disease’s symptoms but not the disease itself. As long as you’re taking the medicine you feel okay, but the disease is still there. Anyway, at the end of class she prophesied over everyone. A couple of things she said to me were that I was going to be able to dream again (no, not the noctural kind) and that I’d been trying to fit a square peg into a round hole but soon things were going to start to “fit together.” “Soon” turned out to be the rest of the week! And btw I haven’t had dreams for my life in a long time and have been afraid to dream because I’d had so much disappointment in the past. I’m not sure I even know how to dream!
Anyway, this is the second year Global’s put on the Living Jesus Conference for the students, and it ran from Wednesday to Friday. All of the messages were good, and Bob Hazlett taught on the prophetic and had the students do prophetic exercises. We also had outreach every day (at lunch and supper). I had a lot more confidence going into it than I ever had before, and had a few “firsts.” I started a conversation with someone at lunch and asked if I could give an encouraging word. She said yes and I told her I felt as if she’d been robbed of something recently but that God was going to restore that. When I asked if that meant anything to her she said she’d just lost her job last Friday (due to outsourcing) and that she was on her way to an interview for a new job. I asked God to bless her and prayed that she’d find favor during the interview. Another first happened with a young woman I spoke to at a store. I don’t remember what all I shared exactly, but it made her cry (in a good way!). She was deeply touched and frankly I was surprised. Funny how little things can mean so much!
Friday Bob had us do an exercise in class where we asked God to give us a picture of a person for someone (movie star, Bible character, whatever). They put you in two circles with the inside circle facing out. I was on the receiving end at first and got rocked! Before I share about that, you have to know some things I’ve been praying to God about. I’ve been asking 1) for His heart, 2) that he would “kiss my heart awake” (thinking of Song of Solomon 1:2), and 3) that He would make me a worshiper. The second word I got was that I was like Jeremiah, the weeping prophet, but how she interpreted it was that God was going to give me His heart and a deep love for people. The next person said, “I’m getting Sleeping Beauty. I feel as if God is going to kiss you awake.” The last one was for Julie Andrews. She said she could just see me spinning like she did on the mountain, and that when I sang the hills were going to come alive! Well, lots of time when I worship I have my hands out like Julie did, and sometimes I even spin! So yeah, it rocked. When it was our turn to be on the giving end, I got Cat Woman, Sandra Bullock, and Audrey Hepburn for those three women, and they were touched by everything I told them. In fact, the one I mentioned about Audrey Hepburn was for a specific movie, “Sabrina.” I told her I felt as if she was Sabrina and spoke into that a bit. She came up to me today and said she’d looked it up and was anxious to watch the movie :)
Then Friday I left early to go to NYC with three other ladies for a Reinhard Bonnke impartation breakfast. I had a great time with these women, who are some of the most Spirit-filled women I know. The breakfast was great, and though I didn’t feel anything during impartation, I’m still believing I received! One of the women got touched in a big way. We then drove into NYC and met up with someone to go pray at two old churches (right near ground zero). It was an awesome time. At one point, the lady I just mentioned was praying something about the four winds (in Revelation), and the wind started to blow and blow! It was AWESOME! Almost like a confirmation that what we were releasing was in fact being released!
I must confess that Sunday I was so tired I didn’t go to church. Conference weeks can be very draining, and going away two days on the heels of one really wore me out!). In the afternoon Kevin and I did go to Lowe’s and start the process of picking out kitchen cabinets. Wow they’re expensive! Methinks we shall be going back into debt to finish this house :( One of these days I’ll post photos. I will say that at this point you can stand at one end of the home and look clear through to the far wall. Nearly everything is gone! The electrician is due to start his work this week. So much to do….
Today Melodye was back to teach, which she did, as well as a lot of prophetic activation. At first she told us to take a sheet of paper and prophesy to someone, though she wasn’t going to tell us who until we were done. I immediately got a flash of the Flying Nun! Seriously! I’m thinking, “Okay, God, what if this ends up being for a man?!!!” But it’s what I got so I went with it. I didn’t remember much about the TV show or even the fact that she attributed her abilities to her light weight and big hat. I thought (as a little girl) that it was quite miraculous that she could fly and wished I could do it! I seemed to remember that some of the other nuns weren’t so happy about her “gift” and wanted to keep her “grounded.” So what I put was basically, “I see you coming out of a religion set in its ways. You’re going to show those who have God in a box that miracles are possible. Some will see you fly and will want to fly as well. I also feel that you’re going to do things that are not possible to do in the natural and that God is even going to translate you like he translated Philip.”
Then she dropped a bombshell. She said to all of us, “You just prophesied to yourself!” Oh my word! It IS true. I AM coming out of a religion set in its ways. I AM seeing miracles, and though I haven’t experienced translation yet, I would sure love to! Hmmm, I wonder if that counts as a dream?! :) In any event, I had to chuckle when I Googled the TV show and discovered that the first episode aired on my ninth birthday!
Oh, and btw I forgot to mention that during worship a “Prophetic Insight Person” (PIP for short) is chosen. They are to come up during worship and share with the classes what they are seeing/sensing God is saying/doing. Guess who was picked for today? Yep! In a way I realize it was God’s mercy. Every day I’d have come to class kind of dreading being chosen. So worship starts and I worship for about ten minutes or so. I’d kind of had a fall-back plan if God didn’t give me anything, but He did, and when I shared it I saw a couple of Holy Spirit amens! After class one of the 2nd year students told me “You did a good job” which meant a lot (because I felt as if I was rambling). Two 1st years told me it meant a lot to them as well.
I’m thankful God is so faithful. He really wants to talk with everyone and does more than we realize, I think. I feel more confident, not in myself but in my ability to hear from God. It’s His heart I’m after. In fact, in one of the exercises the first thing I got was a snake and I’m like, “Oh no! Really, God? You’re serious?” That felt so negative (even though I know it can be a symbol of healing) that my reaction was to ask for something different. I felt as if He then asked me, “Are you going to go with what I give you?” So I had to settle myself down and keep asking for more revelation. Okay, what am I missing? Then I saw Aaron’s rod being thrown down and it swallowing the other. So don’t stop with the first thing you’re given, especially if it’s a negative! God always flips negatives. He is FOR us. Boy, did I ever learn that today :)