Not sure where the years went, but I’ve managed to fly through 54 of them! Still feel like a kid in many ways (and perhaps act like one as well!). I’m not sure if posts have a time stamp, but it’s early, a quarter of one to be exact. My sleep patterns have been anything but normal lately, though I have a lot on my plate and that may be part of the problem. I figured while I’m up I may as well make an entry. Then I plan on going over to my upper room and having a serious talk with God about this sleep-deprivation thing I’ve got going on!
Tuesday was settlement on our house. The first part–the transaction between us and the kids–was a nightmare. Our attorney’s done many settlements and his secretary said this was one for the record books. It was baaaad. What was supposed to have taken under an hour took almost two and a half. If most banks are like the one they dealt with, then it’s no wonder this country got into the financial mess that threw it into a tailspin! In the end, I wasn’t able to make it back to Global for orientation and the kick-off picnic, which bummed me out. Well, I was fasting anyway.
Speaking of which I broke it yesterday, and here’s why: I mowed at our new place. That may sound like a crazy reason, but you have to understand something: it’s a half acre, was very thick, very hot out, and I used our mulching mower so it was extremely slow going. Two hours into it I hit a wall and had to call my son to come finish it. I suppose I could have asked him to do it in the first place, but I wanted the exercise, thinking that perhaps it would help me sleep better that night (it didn’t). I’d spoken with a friend earlier in the day who’d asked me how long I thought I’d be fasting. I told her up to forty days and she said that I was going to need my strength with all the work we’d have going on at the house and I should consider ending it early if my body told me to. Dehydration and heart palpitations have a way of making you recognize wisdom when it’s been spoken to you :) So my fast lasted seven days. The last time I went for an extended fast I ended it for the same reason, although that was when I was working on this place to get it ready for the appraisal.
I’m thinking perhaps some of the sleeping problems were from the fasting as well, and that hopefully within a few days they will pass, too. I’ve been going to sleep okay but waking up after only an hour, often with restless leg syndrome (that I usually get in my arms). When I get overly tired symptoms tend to be exacerbated, so getting into a poor sleep pattern has a way of creating a nasty cycle. For now I just get up for an hour or two and can usually fall back to sleep not too much worse for the wear.
The official first day of school is today. The first two days were spent going over the manual, getting to know the Eta (1st year) students and catching up with my class (the Zetas). At one point the two groups separated and the Zetas were given 2-1/2 minutes to share about our summer. I wish I’d been sitting in the front row–that would have given me less time to think! After about twenty people went it was my turn, and my carefully scripted-in-my-head commentary took a rabbit trail. I ended up sharing more than I’d wanted to and pretty much opened up about some of my fears. Not only that, my knees started to knock! So when I sat down I had to resist kicking myself. And I’m supposed to be able to stand up and preach by the end of the year? Yikes, this was only a testimony in front of fellow students! ~sigh~ When it was all over and we went on break another student came up and shared something he “saw” (in the spirit) as I was speaking and it encouraged me. Even with that I had another Luke Skywalker what-am-I-doing-here moment and still think I’m in over my head. That’s never stopped me from going after something I want, though, and it’s there for the taking. It would probably help if I was better at receiving :)