For those of you who may or may not have been waiting to hear about the conference, I’m afraid this post won’t cut it and I apologize. I had good intentions, but it’s been a crazy busy spring break (so much for taking it easy, lol), and unless I have a chunk of time I usually don’t even try. I had started this week with a list of things I wanted to get done, knowing that if I didn’t get it done this week it would be the middle of May before I had another chance. So far I’ve cleaned my room (that took most of a day!!!), visited sick friends, worked at the food bank, mailed packages to Alaska, attended a Boro Council meeting and visited Perry Village. Tomorrow I hope to start a project for the garden, do some weeding in the flowerbeds, perhaps mow for Kevin (who will be working on rototilling), and clean the kitchen. OR maybe I’ll just take it easy all day :) Nah. Having company on Sunday, have to work….
But today isn’t about me, it’s Good Friday. I’ve been thinking a lot about Jesus today and talking to Him too. Can’t say that I’m sure I heard answers, but think I may have heard “Soon” in answer to one (the “when” one I keep asking). In the process of doing my report I stumbled upon a quote by Mahesh Chavda’s wife, Bonnie. She said, “One thing I want to say to you is this: Just get desperate for God. Get desperate and stay desperate. And the more He touches you, the more that should make you hungry. And the more He fills you, the more that should make you thirsty. And the more He pours out His Spirit on you, the dryer you ought to realize you really are! Because God is awesome, awesome, awesome.”
He’s been showing me deeper things in my heart and I find I’ve been saying, “That has to die” a lot lately. Jesus died for me so I could live for Him, but I can’t do that if I haven’t completely surrendered. I think that I have, but then He shows me another area where I’m holding out. I would be more discouraged, but I remind myself that He knows my heart. And He loves it. He died so it could be completely His. That’s what I want, too, and since we agree then it’s as good as done, right? Well, not quite :) Ah, process, I speak of you yet again! I suppose I should welcome you as the friend that you are, for Jesus died so I could be in process. As long as I’m alive He says, “Come, take my hand and let’s go through this together.” Thank you, Jesus, for your sacrifice and for your promise to finish what You started!