The gentleman who led prayer meeting this morning cracked a funny about having motion sickness, i.e., he’s tired of going through the motions! Would that all churches/Christians were infected with motion sickness! I’ve actually been sick for a while and finding my cure outside the church. Hard to infect others, though. Talking about what I’ve been experiencing these last few months doesn’t usually go anywhere and leaves eyes glazed over. I’ve been dropped by a couple more FB friends (again, they’re Christians) and though it’s probably not right to speculate I do anyway. I pretty much figured that would happen when I added “Global School of Supernatural Ministry” to my education.
We have a three-week break from school, and I’ll be glad to catch up on some reading and perhaps even get my next paper done, but I’m looking forward to the break. I’m tired and need it. Still not feeling 100% since I broke the fast a week ago (heart palpitations continue to be an issue), and I feel as if I could sleep a lot. That’s not entirely bad, because it means more time spent in the half-awake-half-asleep state in which I find so many things happen. A few days ago I took a nap and fell asleep listening to Jesus Culture’s Come Away CD. I always fall asleep talking to God, and I’m going to assume that continues even after I’m out because many times I wake up still talking to Him. Or perhaps it’s that somehow He touches my heart and makes me cry out to Him and that’s what wakes me up! But in any event what was cool about that day was that every time I would wake up with a cry on my heart it seemed as if the lyrics were timed to answer what I was just asking/saying. Yeah, I know, the subconscious mind and all that, but I just found it amazing how they dovetailed and how it seemed that I found myself being irresistibly drawn (not that I would fight, mind you! :)
Last night I had an extended bout of palpitations which affected my sleep, so I put some music on again (love Alberto and Kimberly Rivera’s stuff) and probably listened to their Reigning Presence CD three or four times, again drifting in and out of sleep. At one point I awoke pouring out my heart to God telling Him that I trusted Him with my heart, and what was so incredible about that was that it was the first time I felt as if I actually believed it, that I meant what I was saying. So I got up early this morning and came downstairs where I spent some time in prayer and crying out (I’ve been doing a lot of that lately) and when I was done turned toward the sofa and saw my Bible and wondered if maybe I should do one of those open-and-read-wherever-it-falls things when I felt/heard “Isaiah” and then “33”. Lo and behold there in the middle of the chapter is this: “You shall see the King in His beauty.” Yeah. Come on, Jesus!
I am lovesick. Song of Solomon has become real in my life. I think of that verse about not arousing my love before she pleases. TOO LATE! lol It’s the deer-panting-soul-yearning thing that occupies my thoughts. One word has been at the forefront of my thoughts for weeks now: when. I don’t think I need to worry about motion sickness anymore :)