I have a lot to be thankful for, but this morning as I awoke to the strains of Jesus Culture’s “I Want to Know You” I just had to smile. I love my Divine DJ. I love how He serenades me, how He knows my heart and puts words to its desires. No, I haven’t spoken in tongues and prayed in a language I don’t understand yet, but in a way this is my “heavenly language.” Time and time again I will feel something stirring and, unbidden, a song will start playing that puts it into words. And often I’ll find myself changing words to a song and singing it back to Him. Sometimes that can get a little silly, but He is full of joy and loves to have fun with me :)
Last night I felt like watching a movie. I don’t watch them very often and we don’t have an extensive library, but rummaging through them I found an old one and took a trip down memory lane. When I was a junior in high school I won the lead to the musical “Bells Are Ringing.” I remember that we had to sing “The Party’s Over” at the audition. There was another girl trying out who had an incredible voice and everyone thought she’d get the part. The director told me afterward I got it because of the feeling I put into it, which wasn’t hard to do because I was licking my wounds over a failed relationship and that song’s a real downer. Ella Peterson was a switchboard operator at Susanswerphone who loved interacting with her customers. The first song she sang was “It’s a Perfect Relationship” She’d fallen in love with a voice, you see, but what was fun was watching it again with a new set of eyes. Considering how I’m longing to see Him face to face, I sang it to Jesus and had to laugh a couple of times…”It’s a perfect relationship. I talk to Him, and He just talks to me. And yet I can’t help wondering what does He look like? I wish I knew. What does he look like? Is he six foot seven or three foot two, has he eyes of brown or baby blue? Can he dance like Fred Astaire, is he dark or is he fair, Pompadour or hot a hair, well I don’t care!”
I had fun with other songs, too, like “Better Than a Dream”, when she finally meets him and sings, “So that’s what you look like! At last I know. You’re better, better than a dream. What you are is better far than a dream. I tried to picture your face. But now I see you. You’re outta this world, you’re outta this sphere, you’re outta that outer space!” “Just in Time” got changed just a bit to “Just in time, You found me just in time. Before You came my time was runnin’ low. I was lost, the losing dice were tossed, my bridges all were crossed, nowhere to go! Now You’re here, and now I know just where I’m going, no more doubt or fear, I’m on my way. For Love came just in time, You found me just in time and changed my lonely life that lovely day.”
Actually it’s kind of funny how much like Ella I was/am. She spent so much time being so many different things to different people that she gets to the end of the play realizing she doesn’t even know who she is. She sings “I’m Going Back” which starts out “I know you, your name is Sue, but who am I? I’ve gotta find out, at least I’m gonna try. I’m going back, where I can be me….” And of course at the end of the movie Dean Martin finds the real Ella and loves her for who she is.
I’ve been “going back” and it’s been a process, but I don’t hate that word process so much anymore and have actually been learning to enjoy it. I’ve stopped looking forward so much to an “event”, though I believe with all my heart that He’s gonna meet me (I have His word on that). But He’s with me every day and I’m learning to recognize, like Lennon said, that “Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” Each day is a gift which far too often I don’t open.
Today we’re going to my brother’s for Thanksgiving. It’s fairly warm out and Kevin wants to ride. I know how much He enjoys when I ride with him (and we haven’t had many opportunities this year), so I guess I’ll bundle up and go. I look forward to seeing family–we just don’t get down very often anymore. Hopefully I can take a family pic for Christmas cards! Want to take the video camera too, just in case my nephews are up to their usual hilarities.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!