Trying to figure it out

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Somewhere between yesterday and today I slipped back into my default way of thinking and the battle is on again.  I want the serenity I had and know that it is a matter of thinking right thoughts, but my emotions are in full rout.  I play the tape again, “I will come to you,” but my heart is sick.  Perhaps it’s the hope deferred thing which is sad, because it’s only been a week.  Yet, “O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly; My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, In a dry and weary land where there is no water.”  I awoke this morning, put my earbuds in, and listened to Jesus Culture’s “My Soul Longs” and let the tears fall.  I believe You will come like the rain.  Focus, Patti.  Focus.

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