I’ve been fighting discouragement for a couple of days now. Perhaps it’s tied to the poor sleep habits (I’ve been waking a lot). I had some dreams this morning but was too tired to write them down. All I remember is being in a vehicle with Kevin and he was driving and we were heading for a set of stairs (literal) and said we could drive up them and I was petrified. They were carved in the side of a mountain or something and I knew there was no way a car could go vertically. Another dream had dolphins in them. Don’t know the significance of dolphins.
I had my first “studio session” with Rosetta Stone. Turns out I actually signed up for the second session and had missed the first one and so this was like jumping into second grade without going to first. It was actually quite discouraging (though it would have been more fun had I been better prepared) and makes me wonder whether all this time and effort I’m putting into learning Portuguese is really worth it. I keep thinking God’s gonna help me with my two loaves and five fishes (or was it five loaves and two fishes?!). In any event, I don’t plan on quitting, though I’m having a hard time getting everything done that I need to.
Micah went over the ministry manual at GSSM today. I watched it on demand because I helped at the food bank this morning. Must have missed an awesome time in worship (judging by how the first session started). Healing prayer and words of knowledge were discussed. So far I have personally seen no instant answers to prayer and have received no words of knowledge. That’s when the doubts start to set in about what was prophesied over me, and the questions start. I keep reminding myself that God specializing in impossible things. To me these things seem impossible, especially when I am tired and discouraged.
But I trust Him. I choose to trust Him.