A Mountaintop Experience

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No, literally. The top of Sno Mountain, today, ten degrees out and a wind chill factor of minus twenty or so. We took one run and immediately went into the ski shop and bought balaclavas! I don’t know why we waited as it made a world of difference.

There’s nothing quite like a day on the slopes, especially when they’re groomed to perfection and nearly empty (we were still finding fresh corduroy at 3 p.m.!). The cold air helps clear the cobwebs out of the brain and there’s plenty of time to think while riding those agonizingly slow lifts to the top (they don’t run the high-speed lifts through the week).

I’m not sure why I’m such a slow learner in some departments. Something can be staring me in the face for years and I pretend it’s something it’s not or (worse) go into full-blown denial. I came to the realization today that I try too hard to fit in. I think everyone has a basic need to belong, but I was taking that to a whole new level, lol. God has proved Himself to me over and over and as if that weren’t enough He has given me one of the greatest earthly gifts of all (that would be a spouse who loves me). Yet I spend so much of my time and energy trying to fit into the po-world because somewhere along the line I thought that’s what He wanted. After all, isn’t He the one who gave me the gift? Shouldn’t I assume, therefore, that I’m supposed to do something with it, like make a name for myself?

That’s what occurred to me today: I already have a name. And it’s strange, because the past couple of months I’ve had a newfound confidence in my writing abilities. Now, I am still an awkward human being when it comes to actually communicating, but I know that I can write poetry, and that on occasion I can write it well. I don’t need to feel as if I’m some sort of chihuahua among Great Danes. (Okay, maybe I am, but I’m a rare breed of pit chihuahua, lol.) And I need to stop wishing I could write like so and so. I write like Patti McCarty, and no one else writes like her, so why does she keep wishing she were somebody else?

I need to go skiing more often :)

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