Half the morning is gone and here I sit. After last night’s post I did indeed attack the den and was making good progress when I got a phone call. I’d forgotten about an elders’ meeting this morning and hadn’t done the agenda, so back to the church I went. Now it’s another day and I’m just not as motivated, in part because of a nagging headache and a heavy spirit.
Kevin injured his knee skiing yesterday, and though our ski vacation is two weeks away this might be it for the season for him, which is disappointing. This would be one of those times I wish prayer could just miraculously heal it, but though I believe that happens somehow I don’t have the faith for that, and I believe it is faith which precedes any and all miracles. In any event, God is in control. I did the same thing to my knee two years ago and it took a few weeks to heal. To this day it still “talks to me” when it’s tired.
Then there’s the issue of self-protection. So many times I will keep silent about something because I don’t want to rock the boat, so to speak. But after last Sunday’s sermon I learned that in many cases that is sin (there, I called a spade a spade). So this week I determined to be more “real” with people, and though I thought I was being careful and loving I may have ended up offending or hurting their feelings, which is so not what I wanted to do. For now dialogue has stopped and I am fighting the urge to keep it going. I don’t like when walls go up–they may make good neighbors, but they can be devastating to relationships. In any event, these kinds of things knock the wind out of me. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, though, as I’m too windy to begin with :)
Anyway, I’m going to log off, go exercise, and then get back to work on the den. One of the benefits of going through stacks of paper is finding the little scraps I’d written lines on. I call them “seed poems” and I discovered one I’d started years back. I think I’d like to work on that one again today. We’ll see.