That 3 a.m. thing

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I don’t know what’s up with waking up at 3 a.m. most mornings but it’s getting old.  I usually end up praying in between going in and out of sleep for anyone and everyone that comes to mind.  Sometimes I think ahead five hours and wonder what’s going on in Africa.  In any event, I’d like to actually get out of bed next time.  It does no good to toss and turn for an hour and a half and then sleep fitfully until the alarm goes off a couple hours later.  Because I was of course tired, I laid back down at 10:30 and slept for over two hours.  Yes, I needed it, but it still feels wasted.  And my mind never seems to get tired.  I lie down with thoughts spinning and a song playing and wake up and it’s still as noisy as ever, same song still looping.  It’s no wonder I don’t hear from God–He doesn’t yell, which is what He’d have to do in order to be heard above the din.

A young friend sent me the first chapter of a book she’s written for review, so I have that to do.  I have some letters I must write.  There’s always housework and the den’s a mess.  Tonight El Shaddai practice starts up again (weather permitting–we’re supposed to get snow).  And then there’s the writing I’m not doing.  I suppose I should make a list and just start tackling things one at a time.  Instead, I sit here and feel so totally unmotivated to do anything.  That always ends with me tsk-tsking myself and wishing I could start the day over.  Better get going.

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