Back from CA

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It was a whirlwind trip!  And just like that it’s over and I’m back home.  It’ll take a few days to catch up and wind down (at least I hope I can–life doesn’t seem to be slowing down at all!).  We flew to LA on the 25th.  The next morning as I was waking up I thought I heard Ezekiel 3:5-9 so I looked it up: “You are not being sent to a people of obscure speech and strange language, but to the people of Israel—not to many peoples of obscure speech and strange language, whose words you cannot understand. Surely if I had sent you to them, they would have listened to you.  But the people of Israel are not willing to listen to you because they are not willing to listen to me, for all the Israelites are hardened and obstinate.  But I will make you as unyielding and hardened as they are.  I will make your forehead like the hardest stone, harder than flint. Do not be afraid of them or terrified by them, though they are a rebellious people.”  That made for an interesting way to start things off!

We had a day of visiting relatives and then were off to Lancaster.  I believe the videos from that conference will be up soon (Shekinah Worship Center), and I would encourage anyone with questions about the role of women in these end times to watch the whole conference.  It was called the Midean Women conference because the Lord had been speaking to Brother Sadhu about that very thing.  Basically what it boils down to is a three-fold anointing, that of MIrian, DEborah, and ANna–prophetic worship, prophetic warfare, and prophetic intercession–that is being released on women in fulfillment of Psalm 68:11.  The teaching was encouraging and empowering, and the worship was off the charts.  The second day I sat down beside a woman and discovered she was from Mechanicsburg!  She had just been pondering whether God had any divine connections for her there (yay God!).  I am looking forward to getting together with her soon.

Other speakers included Lou Engle (who had received a similar word from the Lord) and Jennifer LeClaire, Senior Editor at Charisma Magazine.  It was the first time I’d ever heard Jennifer speak and wow is she a powerhouse!  She encouraged us all to dream wild.  On Saturday night Sadhu taught and then prayed for and anointed all the women with oil.  It got wild (as it usually does) and some people had powerful encounters.  I know because they talked about them the next day at church.  Instead of the usual service, time was given to share testimonies and there were many who spoke.  After about a dozen women got up and shared the powerful visions and encounters they had I stood up.  Basically I said that I didn’t have any of that–no visions or words from God, no encounters, and I didn’t feel anything–but that I believe I received.  One way I knew was because at prayer meeting we had a time of prayer for the nation and I interceded like I never had before.  The pastor (Joe Sweet) spoke into that and I wish I’d have written down the name, but there was a somebody who was told by God to “tell My people to learn to receive without feeling anything” (or something like that).  Anyway, I had a number of women come up to me afterward and thank me for saying that because it had been their experience too.

We went back to LA and took the drive through the mountains, which was beautiful.  We have been to California a number of times but never in the spring, and it was lush and green from all the recent rains.  Over the next two days we got together with some of the extended family and at one point I shared with a couple relatives what Brother Sadhu had mentioned at the conference, i.e., that he recently saw a huge angel with a sledgehammer in his hand in LA.  An earthquake is coming, and it is going to be catastrophic.  My prayer for my relatives (and I told them this, because they’re not planning on moving) is that God will send His angels and wake them up so they can get to high ground.  My first and only visions (thus far anyway), came at the end of my first forty-day fast back in 2011 and the second one had to do with an earthquake in LA.  I was shown how far the ocean came in.  Whether that was from a tsunami or the land sinking, I don’t know, but it looked as if it covered most of the city.  Sadhu also spoke about three other ones in the US, one in the middle of the country (probably the New Madrid one) and one on the East Coast (not sure where the other one was).  He told us to pray for our President, that he would be able to serve his full term.  We know there are plenty of witches and others cursing him, and evidently the “time of grace” that we are experiencing as a nation is tied directly to his term.  If only more Christians knew that, perhaps they would pray more fervently.  I’m not saying that to be judgmental, because I need to pray more myself.  I definitely feel as if “something” is coming though.   Kind of fitting that today is the National Day of Prayer.

Anyway we got home yesterday morning at around 8:30 and were in bed by 9, sleeping kind of fitfully until around 2.  Then we attacked the jungle that was our yard and I did some gardening.  Probably a good thing we did because it is to rain the next couple of days.  I need to go see dad today and take him to the store, etc.  I am hoping for a rental space to open up so he can have a shop.  It would be good for him to have something to do.  Right now, I think I shall try to go back to sleep.  Still trying to adjust my sleep schedule.  Perhaps I’ll have a dream :)

It had to be you

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When I was twenty-one I took a three-month trip, and when I came home I was surprised by a couple of things:  First, how much the children in our church had grown, and second that life went on without me when I was gone and I wasn’t really missed.  I have been thinking a lot about my life lately (especially how quickly it’s passing by), knowing that God is really up to something all around the world, and wondering if He would use me in His plans.  This morning I was contemplating my trip to California next week.  I am going to attend a women’s conference because when I read about it I got excited and felt a “Go!”  It spoke about the mantles of some of my heroes of the faith (Maria Woodworth-Etter, Aimee Semple-McPherson, and Kathryn Kuhlman to name a few).

I’ve always had this dream to be like them, especially Kathryn Kuhlman, who walked so closely with Holy Spirit.  Whether I ever “did the stuff” or whatever that may look like was not something I thought much about because what matters to me is closeness to Him.  When you are in love you will do whatever He asks.  I’ve had a yearning to know Him, to hear His voice, and have been chasing Him for years (even though He is always with me, lol).  Jesus’ words from almost six years ago, “I will come to you” still ring in my ears, one of the handful of times I’ve heard His voice so clearly that I felt as if He was right beside me.

I’m on Doug Addison’s daily prophetic word email list.  Yesterday’s was to ask God to confirm things that you have been asking for.  I have been asking to see.  I want to see in the spirit, so all day I was asking for confirmation.  I didn’t see anything through the day but hoped for a dream when I went to bed.  Well, if I dreamed I don’t remember, but I wasn’t discouraged or disappointed.  Perhaps my trust is coming into a maturity, but I am learning to rest and not strive.  He is at work in me, and that is what matters.  That said, as I was eating my breakfast I was contemplating the conference next week and wondering what God has for me there.  I know it is going to be an adventure.  I thought about my life and found myself questioning (again, because I do it often) what my destiny is, whether I was just dreaming or if those prophetic words really were true.  Had He really chosen me to walk in signs and wonders?  Right then a song began to play.

I knew the tune and the title but not the rest of the words, so I Googled it and listened as Harry Connick Jr. sang a song that went straight to my heart.  Holy Spirit spoke as He often does through music.  Oh, how I love Him!  By the way, today’s word is:  New strength, healing and wholeness is going to start flowing like a river.  I receive that!

An angel named Joy

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Last week I attended Voice of the Prophets in Lancaster.  My friends from Arkansas came and stayed at the hotel with me (which makes it affordable!).  We had a great time, and God “showed up” in many ways which is good, because it was a bit of a struggle at first.  The past four VOPs I had spent serving Mary, so this was an adjustment.  In fact, when I went to the Network Meeting (I was late) I stood in the back and at one point was certain I heard her husband laugh.  A wave of sadness hit me and I had to fight back tears.  It turns out they weren’t there, but later I ran into a few ladies who had been to Come Away weekends and that interaction brought a bit of pain as well.

Thursday morning the students did the prophetic presbytery.  They did a great job and it was very encouraging.  Our time for ministry was early so we didn’t miss worship which was good because Steve Swanson led it and he’s like my all-time favorite worship leader.  I remember one of the songs spoke about God bringing beauty from the ashes and that I asked Him as I was singing to do that in my life and in the recent situation.  In the afternoon Larry Randolph spoke.  Right before he did, a prophetic friend shared that God gave her a picture for me of a baby that was born but still attached to its mother.  The umbilical cord has to be cut or both the mother and baby will die.  I certainly don’t want that.  Larry’s message was really good, and in it he spoke about a baby being born.  It so tied in with everything and I was pretty rocked by it.

During worship that night I tried what one friend told me (to reach through the veil) and was given a picture as I did.  It didn’t last long (but it was long enough!).  Jesus grabbed my arm and pulled me through and up onto the back of a white horse and away we went, first galloping and then flying (like it turned into Pegasus or something), and then we turned into eagles and I started swooping down and picked up a snake and then swooped down and grabbed a demon off someone’s back.  It was awesome :)  The cool thing is the next night right after worship Justin Allen got up and prophesied a crazy word about Cinderella.  I didn’t hear it because I missed worship, but the next day Justin spoke and referred to it.  He was talking about that being a risk to say but it’s what God told him to say.  And then he showed a note written by someone during worship that night and it was about Cinderella and what she had to go through and that her prince was going to come on a white horse and God would bring beauty from the ashes.  I have always loved Cinderella, especially the Disney version.  Her motto, “Have courage and be kind” is one I believe in and strive to be.  But to be honest, I was feeling a bit forgotten, as if the years of service were for nothing and I was left at home while everyone went to the ball.  I know that sounds crazy, but I think that word was God’s way of saying He hasn’t forgotten about me.  Could it have been meaningful to others as well?  Yes, I’m sure.  But I know it especially was for me  :)

We missed the last session on Saturday because we had a long drive and a big day the next day.  Sunday morning I got up and went to the store and then came back and cooked lasagna and an Oreo cheesecake and made a salad.  I made it to church in time for announcements and was given the chance to talk about the seminar that afternoon.  I believe because I did that three people came who wouldn’t have (I was feeling that I really needed to go).  Anyway, it started at 2:00 (and ran until 9:00, hence the dinner) and there were 14 people there (4 of them weren’t from our church).  Not a big turnout, but enough, and I don’t despise the day of small beginnings.  Laurie and Rebecca did an outstanding job.  God had given Laurie a word in the morning about lighting a fire in the church (it being dry tinder, prepared for the spark).  Anyway, I couldn’t be happier with how it went and I think we all fell into bed that night!  Monday we went antiquing (Laurie has a shop and brought her trailer).  After a full day of shopping they went into almost four hours of ministering to a couple, which was a great learning experience for me.  I’m determined to sign up for CHCP in June and hope Kevin can too.

Their last night here we sat around the campfire and then the pastor and his wife came and we had a nice visit.  They left around noon the next day.  I sure hated to see them go.  Kevin and I are hoping to make it down to Arkansas this summer.  He lost two employees this week though so it all hinges on getting them replaced!  We are trusting God to bring experienced techs to us and that God will give us “double for our trouble.”  Kevin is now having to go back into the field and work and still do all the other things, so he is super busy.  In fact, he has to get up at 3 tomorrow morning.  I mowed for him tonight because I knew he wouldn’t have time.  I am feeling it, though!

Last night when I went to bed I was asking God for a dream or something.  Well, I dreamed a lot but I didn’t remember them (that seems to be the norm lately), but He did give my friend Rebecca a prophetic dream.  She wrote it down.  It started with, “Patti is crying out for me.  Tell her I am sending her a special angel to minister to her.  This angel is named Joy.  Joy will be with her wherever she goes.”  There was much more to it, and it was a wow word.  I feel joy even typing that!  It did involve climbing, so I’m not sure what I am to do but effort is involved and I am determined when I hear His voice to do what He says.  It hinges on obedience.  When He speaks it is to be obeyed, and delayed obedience is disobedience.  Lord help me be quick to obey!  That reminds me, I have a T-shirt that says, “OBEY.”  I think I shall wear it tomorrow :)

Oh!  I almost forgot, we moved dad into his apartment today.  It went pretty well and I think he will do just fine there.  He still needs a few things, but we’ll get them in time.  It’ll be nice not having to drive an hour and a half to see him!  Time for bed.  Sweet dreams everyone!

Five hundred miles later…

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Last week was crazy busy.  I put at least five hundred miles on the car running dad here and there, taking care of business and lining up things for his apartment.  It appears he will be getting one nearby and it is subsidized so he will be able to afford it.  An added bonus is the fact that it is in such good shape and close to everything he needs.  We will be a quick six miles away and I imagine we’ll be seeing more of him.  I’m hoping he adjusts quickly and can work on rebuilding his life.

I was looking to rent a small place in the center of town for him to have a shop but I hesitated when I shouldn’t have because now it is rented.  Another salon is going in (that will be the fourth within a block of the square–I mean really do we need another one?!!!).  The rent was only $250 a month and would have been perfect.  I’ll just have to pray something else opens up, because dad needs things to do (he’s a tinkerer) and a place to do them and our place isn’t big enough!  I am looking forward to spending more time with him.  The last time he was here we were getting ready to go to an appointment but before we did I told him I take communion every morning.  I know he has repented and believe he is saved so I asked if he wanted to join me and he did.  I led him through it, and it was a special time.

I’ve been dreaming a lot this week but not remembering most of them.  It’s a bit frustrating because I want to hear from God.  I have been trying to journal every day but usually don’t spend much time when I do.  Perhaps I should just keep pressing in with regards to that.  Voice of the Prophets starts Wednesday so it’ll be a short week.  I am looking forward to it, though it’ll probably smart a bit as I have spent the last four with Mary.  I wonder if she’ll be there and if she is what that’ll look like.  Funny, now I’m remembering one of the dreams I had and how good it felt to see her again (in the dream).  But then she saw me.  It was just a dream though, right?  Or was He preparing me?  Someday it’ll stop hurting.  I know, I’ll look to Jesus!!! :)

After VOP, two of my friends from Arkansas (who will be up for that) will be coming to my place to stay for a couple of days.  I am really looking forward to that, especially since they will be doing a one-day equipping seminar at the church on healing/deliverance ministry.  I made an announcement at church today.  This is a big deal for my church, which is opening up to this and other things of the Spirit.

Today I sang with the worship team.  I don’t know that I’ll ever be a regular, but I’ll fill in from time to time.  It’s taken a long time, but “Holy Spirit” was finally sung, and things are changing.  After church I was talking with someone who enjoys roasting coffee.  I shared how I wanted to open a coffee shop/ministry in town.  Another lady walked up and said she has that vision too.  Methinks God is up to something good :)

Spring has sprung!

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I love this time of year.  There’s always a ton of work to do outside, but the air is warmer and sometimes I catch the scent of something sweet blooming.  I am hoping we get to enjoy our magnolia tree this year (last year a late frost killed the blooms).  I did manage to get some things planted today (lettuce, carrots, and sugar snap peas), and the grapevine is in need of pruning, so I’d better get to work on researching how to do that.  I have big plans for the garden; we shall see if any of them come to fruition!

Thursday night we had a Campfire Girls at a new facility in Harrisburg and it went great.  Afterward, the woman who invited us said we didn’t understand just how “big” the night was, that they don’t just sit there respectfully and quietly.  I knew God was moving.  A couple of times when I looked up (I wish I could say I have the songs memorized, but I don’t), I saw several residents sitting with their eyes closed, faraway wistful looks on their faces.  There were plenty of smiles, and some were singing along.  When audience participation was asked for, they were happy to oblige.  Afterward we got to pray for a number of them.  It was an honor to bring hope and joy for 45 minutes, and Kat and I are already working on our next program there.

I did awaken early this morning (3:15) but stayed in bed and prayed and talked to God and sang (in my heart of course!).   I believe I had just finished singing Keith Green’s “Make My Life a Prayer to You” when I checked the time.  It was 4:28, and I felt I should Google 42:8.  Up came the Psalms:  “By day the Lord directs his love, at night his song is with me–a prayer to the God of my life.”  :)

On Saturday mornings I join a group of ladies online for a time of study and ministry.  Today the focus was prayers to break illegitimacy and “womb prayers.”  I joined in praying along as the first was addressed, and when it came to the second, I was the volunteer.  I have to confess I was somewhat nervous, but God is so faithful, and it was pretty amazing.  I could sense a sadness when she began to pray about the 2nd month.  That was probably when mom found out she was pregnant (and didn’t want to be).  A seer in the group shared what she saw around the 8th month and that 8 represents new beginnings.  During the birth I was asked where Jesus was in the room and as usual He made me laugh with the picture I got (let’s just say he was dressed like a catcher in a baseball game!).  I saw Him holding me, dancing slowly around the room.  When I was asked to hold her myself, I did, and then it was as if I held her to my chest and she melted into me.  That would probably sound way out there to some people, but I am here to say that I feel as if I am becoming whole and that was huge.  Peace.  It’s a beautiful thing.  Here’s to new beginnings, and spring :)

 

 

Clean, fresh air

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There is something to be said for clearing the air in relationships.  I would guess there are probably relationships in everyone’s life where the air may have gotten a bit “stale” or “stinky” because of misunderstandings or offenses (you name it), but I’m here to tell you that it is worth it to make the effort to get things on the table and talk about them.  I did that recently.  Something happened last Sunday which upset me enough that I left after prayer meeting and drove to Global to catch Convergence Center’s service.  I just needed to be somewhere safe.

When I came home Kevin and I had a talk and he said he felt it was time to share some things with our pastor.  Within about fifteen minutes his wife texted and invited us to dinner the following evening.  I knew it was God’s timing, had been praying about it for over a year knowing I needed to get some things off my chest.  I suppose it took that long for me to get in the right place, that being where I could share my heart without any type of blame or defensiveness because I was certainly not blameless.  God’s grace was amazing throughout, and I felt as if I’d been given an incredible gift to have been able to open up and be myself, explaining some of the journey God had me on and what I felt He was calling me to.  When we got in the car to leave Kevin’s comment was a simple, “I’m proud of you.”  Later, as we laid in bed and were falling asleep I heard him say very faintly, “I know.”  I couldn’t get him to tell me what God had just said, but he confirmed they were talking about me and the evening.  Maybe it’s better I don’t know, but I wanted to anyway (can you blame me?!).

Tuesday I got the good news (I hope anyway) that Dad’s background and credit checks needed for the apartment nearby came back clean.  The plan is to pick him up Monday, go to the Social Security office and get some forms we need, and then bring him up here.  The next day we’ll go for an interview at the housing complex, and then I’ll take him home Wednesday.  It’ll be a lot of running around.  I am trusting God to work things out.  He will need everything (just about), so once we know for certain he has an apartment I’ll start looking in earnest…again.

Tonight we have another Campfire Girls “Love Songs Program” at a nursing home in Harrisburg.  There will be some Global students there to pray for residents.  I’m looking forward to it.  This morning I had breakfast with an old friend from church.  Oh, and Monday I had breakfast with an old school pal.  It’s been a busy week.  That’s probably a good thing, because a Come Away weekend starts tonight.  It doesn’t pang me as much as it would have a month or two ago, but I feel a certain sadness.  I don’t intend to dwell on that, though.  God has been moving me forward into something, and I want that (whatever it is).  I do miss and pray for Mary and all the ladies who are gathering.  I know Holy Spirit will show up; He always does.  I am praying He will show up tonight at the nursing home as well.  I love that He is everywhere and so faithful :)

 

Well that explains that

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So Monday I’m at the laundromat with dad and we are talking about how mom has fallen recently and that she may be losing her driver’s license soon and he says, “Well I guess then the idiot will have to drive her.”

There are times when you can ask Holy Spirit a question about something and He will just speak to you directly.  If you have a good “connection” that is.  When you don’t, or it isn’t as developed I should say, then He will just reveal things when He feels like it.  I guess it was time, because I wasn’t asking the question, “Why when I get angry at myself for doing something stupid do I call myself an idiot?”  I believe it’s Lance Wallnau who talks about how we all have an inner child that we need to protect, and when we call ourselves names it is a form of child abuse.  It appears I was just continuing the cycle.

Dad knew immediately he shouldn’t have said it and felt badly.  I think his comment was, “I shouldn’t have said that.”  In hindsight I realize it wasn’t a true apology, but I took it as one and told him it was okay, I don’t hold grudges but forgive because bitterness is like cancer and who needs that.  It didn’t hurt as much as make me sad.  We may have found him an apartment in a town nearby.  They have a van that provides rides to places, so I shouldn’t have to drive him around, which is good.  It’s funny that as I type this I realize I am going to mom’s tomorrow to drive her to a doctor’s appointment.  I’m no idiot though :)